There are awesome wedding invites, and then there is THIS. If the trailer is this good, I can’t wait to see what they have planned for the main event!
This fascinating couple’s blog can be found here.
This was the question a reader recently asked me in the comments section of my guest post at Urban Monk. Do I believe in “true love”? The short answer is, “Yes!”
But wait, there’s more…
I left a brief reply to her comment, then thought I should elaborate here… that way I can bore YOU to tears with my sappy love story about how I met my husband.
I grew up reading romance novels, among other things. Many of my girlish notions of what love would be like were shaped by those books, primarily Jane Austen’s descriptions. Let me tell you, if I had a day to spend with Jane Austen, I’d give her a piece of my mind. Because of her, I wasted so many of my youthful years on “diamonds in the rough” that were really nothing but useless lumps of coal all along.
Everyone recognized that, except for me, because I was busy believing that they were just misunderstood, in this world but not of this world, too intellectual or passionate to be appreciated by the simple masses. Jane Austen made me think that, if I could be interesting enough, or love with sufficient ardor, these rogue gentlemen would come around, sweep me off my feet, and live happily ever after with me.
THAT Love… the Romantic, fantasy-based, idealized, fairy tale kind of love that used to be my one and only goal in life… THAT one, I don’t believe in. Not anymore. I know now it was never real. Jane Austen invented those men to be her companions in her otherwise eternal solitude. That myth is perpetuated to this day to encourage sales of flowers, chocolates, jewelry, wedding dresses… you name it. It’s a dangerous myth.
But there is another Love… the more elusive and rare, True Love.
The Sappy Love Story
Jeff and I met under somewhat unusual circumstances. He was recently divorced, and had a two year old daughter. I had just lost my mother, and my dad was still in the hospital recovering from the plane crash. So, between hospital visits, diaper changes, Barney, and a river of tears, we were both open, honest, and vulnerable. Neither of us had the energy or desire to play the usual dating games.
You know those games… where you both try to be perfect so as to not blow the deal. Every date is like a job interview, you plan for, stress out during, and analyze after. Assuming you survive the first three dates, this song and dance goes on for months, maybe years; then there’s a wedding. Suddenly reality kicks in and all the rough edges start to show.
You can’t pretend to be perfect forever, so at some point you both start being real… and you have to get to know each other all over again. Sometimes, you still like each other. Other times you end up with buyer’s remorse, and you want out.
We skipped all that. From day one we were as real as real gets, and trying to be strong for his daughter, and my dad. We leaned on each other. Six weeks after our first date (a blind date) we got engaged. I didn’t want an engagement ring. I didn’t see the point of spending thousands of dollars on a thing that has nothing at all to do with our feelings for each other. We got simple wedding bands for the ceremony; I think mine was $70.
We didn’t want a fantasy wedding either. Ten thousand dollars (maybe more) for a one-day party? Not a chance. Our friends organized an engagement party for us in their backyard… it was lovely. My brother paid for our honeymoon in Jamaica. As it turned out, we could get married at the resort for $700, including cake, champagne, and pictures. So we did. The only guests at our wedding were a couple we met at the pool that day. We got married four months after we met, against everyone’s advice… that was ten years ago.
Here’s the thing about True Love: it’s not always all pretty and frilly and packaged in the perfect words. It isn’t scripted, rehearsed and delivered with emotive perfection. It is not dependent on ANY of the things money can buy, or anyone else’s opinion. True Love is very real, and very attainable. But it is only possible between two REAL people. No games, no pretending, no faking, no hiding. When YOU are ready to show up and be yourself, you will find another who is also ready… because True Love, well… you know:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Lisis Blackston is the author of the site Quest For Balance.
Whether we find happiness through grand adventures, or seek it in every-day places, we all want less pain and more joy. Quest for Balance is a place where people can be reminded that finding lasting happiness and inner peace is not only achievable, but surprisingly simple… for all of us!
(Originally posted May 28, 2009)
It was a Saturday night, 23 April 1983, Luther and I stationed aboard the USS Forrestal and both made the trek from Mayport, FL to the Philadelphia shipyard for the FIDs service life extension program (SLEP) decided to head out and explore the South Jersey. Our ship had not been in the area but a few weeks and we were all still getting our bearings.
As we navigated one of the local road ways it became quite apparent that I was not going to be able to continue without a pit stop. My bladder felt as if it was going to burst. Luckily relief came into view.
The Silver Saddle Saloon, which we found out, was a bar – upstairs was all country and the basement was all rock and roll. It was the only obvious immediate stop along the roadway.
We pulled into the gravel parking lot and found a spot to park near the back of the 
property, still in view of the entrance. I quickly got out of the car and made a move to relieve myself at the edge of wooded area of the parking lot until I heard a yell, “HEY!” I turned and saw the bouncer for the club standing at the door and signaling for me to come over. Luther was still in the car, we did not plan on staying.
I approached the club’s bouncer and he asked what I was doing in his parking lot. As I danced in front of him I explained I had to use a bathroom in a bad way. He said they had one inside I could use and using his parking lot was not acceptable. I started to enter the building when he put his hand up to stop me – “What?!, I have got to go!”, I pleaded. He responded, “$5 cover charge.” GAHHHH!
The head was located at the opposite end of the building, just past the dance floor. As I made my way to it I saw a very beautiful woman standing at the bar. I couldn’t stop – I had to go.
Relief.
I started to make my way back to the door, Luther was still waiting in the car, I turned to the bar to see if she was still there. she was. We made eye contact. I stopped, turned and quickly approached her.
Bonnie was wearing a cowboy hat, jeans and one of those leather vests with the thin leather tassels – she was dressed very westernly…
I walked up to her, introduced myself and asked if she knew how to dance to the country music they had playing (I had never seen anyone two step before – heck, this was the first time I had ever been in a C&W bar). She said she did.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the dance floor saying, “Good, you’re going to teach me”.
I don’t know how much time passed before I asked, “What are you doing tomorrow?” she said, “I’m going out with you”. I got her phone number and left.
Luther and I later that night stopped at Denny’s for a late night meal. I told him about Bonnie and told him right then, “I am going to marry that girl”, he thought I was nuts.
On May 28, 1983 – 26 years ago today and 5 weeks to the day after I had met her, we were married. Believe in love at first sight? I do. 
Tom Goering is a retired Navy officer currently living in Bartlett, TN where he spends his time working on his Navy CyberSpace blog and spending as much time with his beautiful wife as she can tolerate.
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